


I Will Listen, Tell Me It All.

by theatergirl06



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: And I would most definitely die for them., Because I adore Chloe and Brooke!, F/F, I hope it turns out alright!, Pinkberry!, This is my first BMC Fic!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:34:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24229717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theatergirl06/pseuds/theatergirl06
Summary: Chloe Valentine keeps a lot of secrets from herself and from everyone around her. But inevitably, one day, they all come pouring out.
Relationships: Brooke Lohst/Chloe Valentine, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 44





	I Will Listen, Tell Me It All.

**Author's Note:**

> TW: Internalized homophobia, swearing, alcohol, they say s*x a few times.
> 
> Title inspired by a lyric from Ready Now by Dodie Clark!

Chloe Valentine had a hard time admitting it to herself when she didn’t know something. She liked to think that she had everything figured out. After all, she did seem to sort of have it all. Popularity, great friends, good looks, she even had her own car, something that most juniors’ parents didn’t even buy them.

But there were some things that Chloe  _ didn’t  _ have figured out. Those things were the things she spent a lot of time blocking out of her head.

Why she’d really had sex with Jake so many times.

How hard it was to keep on a happy face and pretend everything really  _ was  _ perfect.

The fact that she’d never really liked any of the boys she’d claimed to adore.

~~ The fact that  maybe she could like girls instead?  ~~

It wasn’t that Chloe didn’t support gay people.  _ All _ of her friends were gay. Jenna and Christine were dating. Michael and Jeremy (though to be fair they weren’t her  _ closest  _ friends. More like...friendly acquaintances), were also dating. Even Brooke, her best friend in the world, had come out as bisexual a few months ago.

But being gay...it wasn’t  _ right  _ for someone like her. People like her were supposed to date a hot guy, go to a high-profile college, become wildly successful at whatever career their boyfriend chose for them, get married, and become that cool class mom. And they were  _ definitely  _ not supposed to be...lesbians.

That  _ was  _ her parents’ story after all. High school sweethearts who had gone all the way through life together. The quintessential American love story.    
Chloe’s big sister had managed to mirror that story perfectly. So when Chloe’s time came, it was only natural that she was supposed to mirror it, too.

~~ But what if she wasn’t going to? ~~

Those thoughts didn’t run through her head a lot, but when they did, they  _ really  _ sucked. So she squashed them deep down into the back of her mind until she couldn’t see them anymore. 

She didn’t think anyone noticed.

But of course Brooke did.

Brooke was different from Chloe. She put on the uncaring façade, but it appeared less and less the more Chloe got to know her.    
Brooke was empathetic and kind and amazing. She was observant.  _ Really  _ observant, and smart, too. Almost as smart as Jenna, who was on another level altogether.

Chloe was smart, too. But her parents hadn’t been, and her sister hadn’t been, and her old friends, Rich and Jake and everyone in that crowd, hadn’t been smart either. So she thought before she spoke, made sure to avoid the big words and the clever observations. She never let anyone see her test papers, and every teacher she’d ever had noticed, but she feigned confusion and innocence, a skill she’d mastered long ago.

But Brooke...Brooke was popular and yet never hid how smart she was. The others had always asked her for homework help. 

Chloe had never been brave enough to do that. She’d never been brave enough to break from the social structure, to just be herself with Brooke like she wanted. She’d never been brave enough to stand up to the pressure to have sex, going so far that she’d pressured other people, even.

She’d done a lot of things she wasn’t proud of. 

Sometimes she thought about that, too. When she thought nobody was watching, she thought about pressuring Jeremy to have sex while he was dating Brooke, about pressuring Brooke to wear this, do that, about smothering her face with makeup and never listening to anyone.

Did following in her family’s footsteps have to be this horrible?

And when she tried to convince herself that she was better now, but was she really? She was still popular, still burying everything under the makeup, the clothes, the façade.

~~ She still couldn’t admit to herself that maybe she’d fallen in love with her best friend. ~~

No matter how hard she tried or what she did, the thoughts always followed her. They followed her to class, to her locker, to the cafeteria, to play rehearsal, cheerleading practice, home, and even plagued her in her dreams as she slept.

She really had been positive she’d hidden it well. 

It all came crashing down one night at a party, Jake’s party, as things tended to come crashing down when you were a high schooler with a tendency to drink more alcohol than necessary. 

The party had actually been going kinda sorta alright. Chloe was very proud of her short, deep green dress. Christine and Jenna had actually showed up, which was rare for them, as they usually preferred to stay home, do each others’ nails, and watch lots of science fiction and fantasy television shows. They both looked really pretty, Christine in a floral top and a skirt and Jenna in a red dress that made her skin glow.    
Chloe smiled as she sipped her drink. It was bright pink, and she had absolutely no idea what was in it, but  _ damn  _ it tasted good. So she had another. She flirted with some guys. Watched Rich and Jake attempt and fail at beer pong. And drank another. All standard party routine.

It was around ten thirty when the game started. The game where everyone took turns going through Jake’s liquor cabinet, mixing alcohols, and then making someone drink them.    
Chloe hadn’t really been paying attention. She’d been bopping her head and semi-dancing along to the loud music playing out of the speakers. 

Until she heard her name called from up on the stage.

“Hey! Chloe!”

She turned, putting her hand on her hip. She wasn’t surprised to see Jake and Rich standing there. They were certainly the types to get into party games like these. 

“And what do you losers want?” Her words raised a collective  _ ooh  _ from the crowd of very drunk teenagers, many of whom were honestly idiots already.

Rich stared back at her. He and Jake were on civil terms with Chloe, but she  _ had  _ spread the story about Rich setting Jake’s house on fire to the entire school, and Rich hadn’t been too happy about it.

She’d apologized, and she could admit she was different now, or at the very least trying to be, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t still mad at her. From the look on his face, he was a little bit mad and a lot drunk. Not a good combination.

Jake walked over to the edge of the stage. They’d had a bit of an awkward break up back in Sophomore year, but Chloe had thought he hadn’t been too mad about it.

A little bit mad and a lot drunk, it seemed.

“It’s your turn!”

Now, Chloe was not the type of girl to turn away from party games. She loved them, and even when she wasn’t in the mood, she still played. So it wasn’t unusual for her to get up onto that stage.

What  _ was  _ unusual was the fact that she was drunk, just a little drunker than she normally was at parties. Not only that, but she hadn’t seen Brooke that night, and the thoughts had come back with the alcohol, only becoming stronger and more painful the more she tried to drink them all away.

So Chloe wasn’t only drunker than usual when she got up onto the stage, she was also pissed at herself. For having these thoughts, and for everything the thoughts contained.

She had a feeling in her gut that this was a bad idea. But how much worse could things get?

A lot worse, as it turned out.

Rich had a slightly devilish look in his eye as he headed towards the liquor cabinet, a look that, though she was determined not to show it, made Chloe want to shiver.

And then her mouth, along with everyone else’s, dropped open as Rich went straight past the wines and the beers and right into the strongest alcohols in the cabinet; the vodka, the tequila, the rum, and a couple she didn’t even recognize.

And then he dumped them all in, enough to fill a cup halfway, but they were big cups, and the alcohol was strong.

And he placed the cup right into Chloe’s hand.

It was almost as though time slowed down as she stared at the cup in her hand.

If she drank it, she could get drunker than she’d ever been. It could even potentially be dangerous. But there was no chance she could drop her façade, lose her cool in front of everyone.

Not drinking it was certainly safer. But she’d be putting her whole reputation, everything she’d worked for for years, on the line. She’d have to reveal everything to herself and her friends because they’d ask why, and when they did, she knew she couldn’t lie well enough to avoid telling them the truth.

Her eyes landed on Brooke in the crowd, wearing a deep pink top that made her pale skin look as though she was blushing.

So she tipped her head back, brown hair spilling over her shoulders, and drained the cup in one gulp.

The crowd cheered, but she barely even heard them. 

Right away, she knew she’d made a mistake. She felt so sick she could barely move. Everything burned, and it felt as though there was no part of her body that was even functioning.

Just how much alcohol had been in that drink?

It took all of her effort to sprint off the stage and away from the crowd, practically flying into the guest room, slamming the door behind her, and collapsing to the floor, gasping for air and struggling through burning pain after burning pain.

She didn’t know how long it really was, but it felt like she spent eternity lying there on the cold, hard floor, fighting the pain and the tears the pain brought, gasping for air and exhaling all of it in short breaths she couldn’t control. 

But after the eternity ended, there was a soft knock at the door.

Chloe tried to prop herself up against the bed again, but her stomach cramped suddenly, making her cry out in pain and fall back to the floor. 

The knocks came again, followed by a soft voice the popular girl recognized.

“Chloe? It’s me.”

Ironically, her best friend was the last person Chloe wanted to see. But she could barely even move. What choice did she have?

She summoned all of her strength, taking a huge breath before speaking. “Yeah?”

Brooke walked into the room and instantly dropped to the floor the second she saw Chloe lying there. Chloe forced a smile, trying not to twitch as pain continued to course through her.

“Hey girl. How’s it goin’?”

Brooke didn’t have any semblance of chillness on her face. She looked worried. Once again, she was sharing her emotions freely and easily. It was something Chloe had never quite been able to do.

“Don’t play dumb with me. I know it hurts.”

“That obvious, am I?”

Brooke blushed. “Well, no. I just...know you. Like how cupcakes know icing. They can tell when the icing is wrong so they sink or crumble.”   
“I don’t think that’s how cupcakes work.”

“You’re avoiding the point.”

Chloe groaned as another torrent of pain rushed through her. If possible, it almost seemed to be getting worse. “Yeah, it hurts. So what, I’ll be fine tomorrow.”

“But maybe you won’t be. You could get a hangover, or...or still be in pain, or…”

“Well what’m I supposed to do about that?”

Brooke sighed. “We can at least try and help! Here, can you sit up?”

“No.”   
“Well can you try?”

Chloe sighed and tried to use her arms to push herself up. As before, she got about halfway before pain rushed through again, but this time Brooke’s arms were there, pulling her the rest of the way and supporting her.

Chloe blushed in embarrassment as Brooke gently began massaging her shoulders, the pain lessening with every motion.

“You’re weirdly good at this.”

“Yeah. I learned it when I had my first boyfriend in seventh grade.”

Silence fell.

“Why did you drink it?”

Chloe sighed. She didn’t want to tell Brooke this, but she was drunk and exhausted and out of breath and everything hurt. 

She didn’t have the energy to lie.

“Because I was pissed at myself. Because I didn’t have another choice.”

“You could’ve said no. That’s literally what health class is all about.”   
“You  _ never  _ pay attention in health class.”

“I pay more attention than you! Just...tell me.”

Chloe breathed in deeply, almost shaking with nervousness.

“I...there are some things you don’t know about me.”

“Please, like what?”

“Like that my parents were popular in high school and it’s all they talk about and I keep modeling myself after them but it’s never enough. Like that I’ve dated so many boys and never really loved any of them. Like that I’ve done shitty things and kept up this confident façade for years, but…” she paused, taking another deep breath. “But even though I love dresses and gossip, there are some days when I don’t want to put on lip gloss and make TikToks. Sometimes I just want my best friend.” She breathed again, getting more and more nervous the more words spilled out of her mouth. “And maybe this is crazy, but I feel like I’m a fake. Like everything I am is made of glass and it’s all about to come crashing down on me. And at the center of that all is the fact that…” she turned and looked her straight in the eyes. “I was stupid enough to fall in love with my best friend.”

Brooke froze. She inhaled deeply, then slumped against the bed, still supporting Chloe with one arm. 

“So that’s why you’re pissed at yourself?”

“Yep.”

There was a pause.   
“Wait, so...your best friend...that’s me, right?”   
Chloe sighed. She just wanted this to be over. “Yeah.”   
There was another silence. Then, in one fluid motion, Brooke wrapped both her arms around Chloe’s waist and kissed her.

Chloe was almost in shock when they started, but the more they kissed, the more natural it felt. As though they’d been ready for this moment all along.

Chloe had kissed a lot of people, but it had always felt odd, a little off, a little wrong.

But this...this was  _ real  _ and  _ natural _ and... _ right. _

They broke apart and leaned back against the bed. Chloe felt a huge smile spreading across her face. She turned and saw that Brooke’s smile was just as wide.

“I can’t believe I just told you all that.”   
“ _ I  _ can’t believe I just  _ did  _ that!”

Chloe laughed, but quickly groaned when a thought entered her brain. It wasn’t a happy thought, but she let it stick around. Because maybe not all thoughts were so bad.

“Crap!”

“What?”

“I...god, I’m so drunk, I can’t get home.”

Brooke didn’t miss a beat. She was already moving towards the door. 

“I’m not drunk. I’ll take you home.”

“Really?” Chloe wanted to groan at the obvious hope in her voice, but Brooke didn’t seem to mind.

“Of course! It’s what girlfriends do.”

Chloe’s head shot up. Had she really just heard what she thought she’d heard?

“Did you just call me your girlfriend?”

Brooke was still standing in the doorway, smiling at her with shining eyes.

And though the blonde girl hadn’t said a word, her answer was clear.


End file.
